Pettiness! It must be one of the most frustrating things to deal with. I can imagine teachers having to deal with it the most coming from parents who have misinterpreted what their kids have said or blown some small situation way out of proportion.
Being a children’s sports coach I deal with a lot of parents and I have to say 99% of them are perfect I haven’t had any problems with the parents of the basketball teams I am coaching currently. But looking back at when I played as a child I saw the pettiness first hand, arguments over jersey number changes, arguments about what division their child should be in and arguments about the coaches over court time.
I don’t deal with much of this personally, I give all the kids equal court time and I start the children on the court who show up to training. But when I have had to deal with it I nip it in the butt straight away.
Here are my 4 tips of dealing with pettiness
1. Deal With It Instantly
Feelings may be hurt but it best to just deal with it straight away. Don’t let it linger or fester into something bigger than what it has to be just sort it out there and then. Do not try and be everyones friend when dealing with pettiness because it will just end up draining your energy.
2. Be Stern
Reassuring and agreeing with everything someone is saying when they are being petty is a sure way of getting yourself deeper into the situation than what you need to be. If you can see a solution, present it and don’t let them even think about it. If you are in a position of authority just tell them this is what needs to be done and that is the end of it.
I am not a huge advocate of this approach except for in this situation. I don’t think there are many occasions at all where you need to be dismissively stern because most of the time you just come across looking like a complete asshole. But there are some times where the only way to resolve a petty situation quickly is to resort to this approach.
3. Don’t be drawn in
You will be dealing with plenty of petty arguments throughout life and my best advice is just to avoid them where possible. If someone is asking your opinion either bluntly dismiss if for the ridiculous overhyped crap that it is or just simply say ‘look I’d rather not get involved and lets leave it at that’.
4. Help Them Realise How Petty It Is
Sometimes all it takes is a different perspective. If they are arguing about something so trivial make it known that is exactly how you feel. One example I can give about this is a parent complaining that their child had less court time than everyone else. To set the scene there was an uneven number and 1 kid had to have an extra substitution compared to everyone else. I ended up saying “Look, this has happened several times throughout the season and I didn’t hear you complaining once when it was someone else kids that had to the extra substitution.” Putting a situation into perspective is a good way to just leave it at that.
Go out there and enjoy a petty free life! I know I will be.
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